Experimenting with self-connection
At the beginning of 2025, I decided to run a little experiment on myself. I wanted to explore the core ideas behind Five Mind Therapy in a structured way, track my progress, and see what I could learn in the process.
The plan was simple: dedicate about one month to each of the five sections, assess where I was at the start, implement a set of strategies, and then evaluate my progress at the end.
I started with connection, which I broke down into three key areas:
Connection to self
Connection to others
Connection to the natural world
Each of these could easily become a deep rabbit hole, so I decided to focus on them one at a time. It made sense to start with connection to self - after all, how could I meaningfully connect with others or the world around me if I wasn’t in tune with myself first?
What is self-connection?
To get a clearer picture, I did some research and came across an article by Kristine Klaussman and colleagues, which outlined a three-part framework for self-connection:
1. Self-awareness - Being aware of your internal experiences, including thoughts, emotions, values, and beliefs.
2. Self-acceptance - non-judgmental acknowledgment and acceptance of yourself, including your strengths, flaws, and experiences.
3. Self-alignment - Living in a way that aligns with your personal values and beliefs.
To get a baseline measure, I completed the Self-Connection Scale, scoring 65/84 on my first attempt and 55/84 when I was stricter with myself. Regardless of which was more accurate, it gave me a starting point.
Building self-connection habits
Next, I put together a list of activities targeting each element of self-connection:
Self-awareness
Daily journaling
Daily meditation
Values exercise
Self-acceptance
Midday self check-in (mental/emotional state)
Daily gratitude practice
Self-alignment
Setting a daily intention
Reading & exercise
I created a habit tracker to monitor my progress and also included a few additional habits:
Morning walk
15 minutes of meditation
Setting an intention
Morning & evening reading
Self check-in
Gym/exercise
Italian practice
Journaling & gratitude
At first glance, it was a lot - especially considering my 8-hour workdays and 40-minute commute. And, as I soon found out, it was probably too much.
What happened?
Week 1: Off to a strong start
I felt great in the first week. I was waking up earlier, getting my morning habits done, and feeling more present throughout the day. By Friday, I was proud of myself but pretty tired.
Week 2: Cracks start to show
The weekend threw me off. I missed most of my habits on Saturday, did slightly better on Sunday, and struggled to regain momentum. By the end of the second week, I was already skipping more tasks.
Weeks 3 & 4: Running out of steam
Fatigue set in. I had forced myself to wake up earlier, but I hadn’t adjusted to my sleep schedule properly. I was getting more tired by the day, and my consistency dropped further. Some habits stuck, but many faded.
Despite this, I still learned a lot.
What worked and what didn’t?
Morning walks - Energising but hard to sustain due to time constraints.
Meditation - Helpful for stress, but became difficult when sleep-deprived.
Setting an intention - Hard to think of meaningful ones, and I often forgot about them during the day.
Reading - One of the most consistent and impactful habits, helping me reduce screen time and unwind.
Midday self-check-in - Beneficial but logistically difficult at work.
Exercise & Italian practice - Easy to maintain.
Journaling & gratitude - Became a chore, especially when tired.
An unexpected shift
One surprising development was that midway through the month, I started writing more reflectively not just journaling, but exploring personal experiences through a deeper, more autobiographical lens.
As a counsellor, I’ve spent years helping others reframe their narratives. Revisiting my own past with fresh eyes, I found myself making connections I hadn’t noticed before. Some painful memories resurfaced, but because I’m in a different place than I was last time I thought about these experiences I was able to ask myself different questions: How has this shaped me? What do I need to acknowledge? What’s the story I want to tell myself now?
This wasn’t something I had planned, but it ended up being the most valuable part of the experiment.
Key takeaways
1. Too many habits = burnout. Trying to overhaul my routine all at once was unsustainable. Moving forward, I’ll introduce changes more gradually.
2. Self-connection isn’t just about habits - it’s about presence. The most powerful moments weren’t about checking off tasks but about genuinely being with myself.
3. Reflection is key. Journaling became tedious, but deeper reflection - whether through writing or simply sitting with my thoughts - was where the real growth happened.
4. Small changes make a big difference. I may not have maintained everything, but the few things that stuck (like reading more and being more mindful of my energy) have already improved my life.
Where to next?
Next, I’ll be shifting my focus to connection with others. Given my natural tendency toward solitude, this will likely push me out of my comfort zone - but that’s all part of the experiment.
For now, I’m taking what I’ve learned and reminding myself that self-connection isn’t about rigid routines or perfection. It’s about checking in, listening, and making space for what’s real.
